I was going to begin this post by apologizing for not updating my Healthier You series last Friday. I was going to say that I had had a difficult week which left me in no mood to write. And that would have been okay, I’m sure. I would have shared how I’ve been doing in my 28 day detox. I would have admitted that I haven’t been perfect at it but joyfully shared that I’ve consumed a lot less Dr. Pepper in the last few weeks than usual, (Woo hoo!) and I’ve had a lot less sugar and flour products. It’s been a good experience so far, and I would have been glad to chat about it a little bit.
But then I was washing dishes and thinking about that post, and about the events of last week. And I decided that you deserve more from me. I don’t take lightly the fact that there are thousands of other blogs you could be reading and millions of other things you could be doing. You deserve more than that. Even if that makes me a little bit vulnerable. So here goes. My revised blog post for today:
Last week, as I mentioned, was difficult for me. Here is a little timeline of my week:
It started out great! I got up earlier than usual, I exercised and spent some time reading my Bible before Josiah (my 5 year old son) got up. I was on week two of a 28 day detox challenge, had come off antidepressant medication, and was feeling great! It was the beginning of a whole new me.
Hit me like a train. I was miserable. I got up late, feeling exhausted and grouchy. I sat on the couch with Josiah until 11:00, I accomplished nothing, and I was SO INCREDIBLY SAD.
A little better.
But,I had been anxious about something over the past several months, but couldn’t figure out why. And then a dear friend asked me if I was transferring an experience from long ago onto this situation. She was exactly right. And while it gave an explanation, it opened the flood gates for the stress that had come from that situation.
And then, that very day, just hours after making that connection, the thing I was anxious about happened. I watched a loved one walk through something that I knew was painful, and there was nothing I could do to “fix it”.
Somewhere along this timeline, it occurred to me that in the previous week I had given up sugar, caffeine, and antidepressant medication. Hmmm, maybe things are being magnified just a bit. A little perspective can go a long way.
Another beautiful friend and I had been trying to coordinate our schedules for the past week or so to find time for a visit. We found it, and I was able to confide in her much of what was on my heart. Honestly, I confided things in her that I didn’t even know were on my heart! I discovered it as we were talking! There was a lot of crying, but it was a cleansing time, and a time of stepping toward healing.
My sister from Maine called! We don’t talk often, but when we do, you might as well make other plans because I’m going to be busy for a while. We talked for 2 hours. Then I went to pick up the kids from their homeschool tutorial and when I got home, I called her back so we could finish our conversation. And we talked another 5.5 hours! We did not solve the world’s problems, but we vented our frustrations, encouraged each other, and laughed! Oh, did we laugh!
I went to the grocery store, which pretty much made me feel like Wonder Woman. ( I don’t get there as often as I should.) Then I came home and cooked a nice meal (at least I hope it tasted good) for a fellow homeschooling mom who just had a baby! Lydia (my 15 year old daughter) and I and I delivered the meal and she got to hold the baby while I got to visit with the mom. (I got to hold the baby a few days before.) I don’t know her well, but that little visit was truly a blessing.
A little bit of “twisting of the knife” for the loved one who had been hurt this week. I’m thankful that I could offer comfort and empathy, and that in time, all will be okay.
Once we were able to physically remove ourselves from that situation, God spoke hope and calm into my heart concerning a different issue. He showed me, through a very quick interaction, that I needed to let go of a certain situation and if I would do that, blessings would come. The very blessings I was trying to force would flow freely if l would let go. And so I let go.
It was a difficult week indeed. But there’s a reason I’m sharing this with you. God is showing me so much this week that I’ve actually asked Him to slow down a little bit so I can get it all! In looking back over this week, I see God’s hand all over the place; teaching me, comforting me, refining me, beckoning me to “come this way”.
I want you to see what I saw, so that when you’re stumbling through some darkness, you’ll know where to look, and you’ll gladly “come this way” and be healed.
What He is showing me won’t all directly apply to you, but just incase, here are a few things I’d like for you to know:
1.Please, if you are ever on antidepressants and want to come off, take it slow and easy. I was under a doctor’s care, and it all turned out alright, but in retrospect, I believe I came off too quickly.
2. I’m thinking it’s probably not a good idea to also drop sugar and caffeine from your diet in the same week as coming off antidepressants!
3.When you have a need, please, find a friend who you can trust, and share your need with her. You may be surprised at how God can minister to you through her.
4.Find a friend who will hold you accountable to take the steps you need to take in order to be freed from whatever is holding you prisoner. I admit it; accountability is not fun at all. Once the tears dried and I was feeling somewhat better, I wanted to squirm out of the commitments I had made during that visit with my friend. But I know I need to follow through, and I’m thankful that she’s checking up on me.
5.If you have a beautiful friend, or even two beautiful friends, thank God for them.
I often feel lonely and disconnected. I complain to God that I don’t have a mentor, and that church is a lonely place for me. But, this week He showed me what “just” two friends can be worth. More than gold. I will forever be grateful that I have two, very good friends.
6. If you have a sister who makes you laugh, (and laughs with you when no one else “gets it”) call her!
7. Stop trying to arrange things so that your needs will be met. Let go of it and let God work it out.
8. Don’t make significant choices or decisions when you’re in crisis mode. (This means don’t do something you wouldn’t normally do.)
9. Always confront the thoughts that are coming into your mind with truth. This is a huge one. You must take every thought captive and make them obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)
I think my overall point here is that in all circumstances, God provides. We just have to look for and be willing to submit to his help. He knows, and eagerly supplies, just what you need. Here are just a few things I saw Him providing this week:
- Tools; weapons for your battle
- Strength; for you to borrow
- Truth; to pierce your darkness
- Understanding; to clear your confusion
- An escape; from the snare of temptation
- Laughter; because it makes good medicine (Proverbs 17:22)
- A new day; this present pain is not our new normal.
I pray God’s richest blessings on you as you go about the seasons and trials of your life. That you will see God’s hand working in every circumstance. That you will diligently look for His provision, allow Him to comfort, teach, and refine you, and become like Him in the process.
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