How is it possible that we’re already two days into a new year? Wasn’t is just February two months ago? I don’t think I’m ready for this!
I typically love this time of year. I love the excitement of making plans for my “best year ever.” I’m a sucker for a blank notebook, lots of pretty pens, and a list of exciting goals. A whole new year just waiting for me to make it awesome. A clean, new start, full of possibilities, projects, and challenges. I usually head into a new year with a sense of determination, strength, adventure, and confidence. I’m the one boasting, “They said I couldn’t do it… I said, ‘Watch me’!”
This year is different.
This year I’m a little bit empty. My heart isn’t roaring like a lion this year, ready to become everything God wants me to be or do everything He wants me to do (or perhaps everything I think I need to do,) and be a “goal getter.” Nope. This year I’m more like a kitten who got caught in the rain. Wet. Cold. Small. A little disoriented. No longer interested in the thrill of the hunt, but longing for home, and the sweet warmth she knows is there.
Oh how I want to “be the storm” and “make it happen.” How I want to live my life in such a way that when I begin my day the devil says “Oh crap. She’s up.”
And yet the memes and cliches aren’t stirring my motivation.
And maybe that’s not such a bad thing.
You see, I think God is working this out for my good (Romans 8:28.) I’m in a place where God can use me for his glory. Humble–uncomfortably humble. Listening. Waiting. Willing. Not ready. Not strong.
Not full of my own plans.
I come into this year in need of the new mercies that He brings every morning.
I come into this year not asking, “What does God want from me this year?” but instead, “What does God want for me this year?” It feels selfish to ask that question. After all, “it’s not about me.” But it is. He died for me. To make me whole, and to reconcile me to himself despite my utter failure and unworthiness. Yeah, it’s about me. Him and me, and what He wants to do in me, through me, and yes… for me. Because he loves me–His precious one.
Are you struggling to find your fire for the new year?
Maybe you’d rather crawl back into bed, pull the covers up, and sleep through this one? I hear ya, I get it. But instead of feeling defeated before you even begin, I want you to see this as a year of opportunity. Not a year for you to be amazing. Not a year for you to climb every mountain. But a year for you to quietly listen and faithfully follow. One day at a time; humbly, expectantly, knowing that He will direct your path.
Maybe you even need to declare this a year of rest, peace, or quiet.
As for me, there will be plenty of hard work, habits to make and break, and sacrifice. But instead of writing my own battle plan, I’m simply going to “suit up” and wait for my marching orders.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:19-20.